Ray Salazar — Salt Lake City, Utah

Ray is 65 and at the present time he lives in Bountiful. He works for the Department of Defense out near Tooele. He is Hispanic but looks more Native American, with high cheekbones and smooth skin. He collects GI Joes and is a women’s softball umpire. He is about 5’10” and weighs in excess of 300 pounds. He has very short gray hair and dark eyes. He wears large glasses and most of the time he wears shorts instead of long pants. He is of average intelligence, has a blustery attitude and is thought of as a “good old boy”, probably because he is not particularly interesting. Ray is a chronic cheater. (Wish I had known…I didn’t find out the entire story for many years) Apparently his first wife divorced him, but while the procedings were being finalized, he decided not to move out of their house because he didn’t have the energy or motivation to find a place to live. His words: “I want it all, always.” Ray is a very lazy man and is unable to make decisions for himself. He borrows the opinions and sayings of others, rather than thinking for himself. He is a weak man. Anyway, instead of moving out and starting a new life, he started an affair with a close family friend. He would meet with this women for s*x, and then go home to his wife of 20 years and sleep in bed with her. I am pretty sure, knowing her, that he wasn’t having s*x with her as well. She finally kicked him out after the divorce was final, and he moved in with the family friend, Linda Nyhart. He didn’t pay rent. He just paid for food. He eats a lot, so maybe she got the better end of the deal. He represented this relationship as a roomate, and said that he lived in her basement. This was never true. A year after he moved in with Linda, Ray was trolling online for women. He found me. Trying to be cautious, I made sure that I got to know him as well as possible. In retrospect, I realize that he lied consistently and created a false reality that I did accept over time. We talked online and on the phone for 18 months. Then we met, started an eight year relationship and were married in 2002. After four months, Ray disappeared from my life. We had a temporary long term marriage which would continue until he was to retire. For some reason, he simple stopped talking to me, except to tell me to leave him alone. Then, he divorced me. I did not contest the divorce. He never gave me a reason for his change of heart, and seemed to take sick pleasure out of keeping me at arm’s length. I had a heart attack and then underwent major surgery, and he did not call or express any concern at all. I figured that I was better off without him. He tried to contact me repeatedly after the divorce was final. He wanted me to tell him that I was happy and that he had done the right thing. I refused. Finally, he made a slip and used an unknown (to me) email addy. I researched it online then I put all of his history together with what I learned. I found out that he had joined a social club in Salt Lake City sometime during our long-term courtship and had “interfaced” with a number of women. This was all documented online. I ultimately contacted him and confronted him with what I had learned. He denied it all, until I sent him the documentation. I told him to stop contacting me, but he is a complete control freak and refused to honor my request. I had to threaten legal action and loss of his job if he didn’t leave me alone, so he finally has stopped the calls and emails. This is a very strange man. Please give him a wide berth. He is verbally and emotionally abusive, but makes it seem like it’s all in good fun. However, I can attest to the fact that after eight years of his “fun” it was a wake up call to realize the damage that had been done to my self esteem. Please, stay away from this man. I have no idea how he attracts women (including me) and why women keep sleeping with him a second time (including me). He is really, really bad in bed and is only marginally endowed. He is selfish and, well, the encounters are brief. For me, after a while, that was a blessing.

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